I’m regretting making that last post with all the screenshots because for the next few months the page is going to be very stretchy.
Also i just went 10.0 in instaCTF on quake live. Yeaaaaaaaaah.
So you know how matthew has gotten me addicted to several games over the years for varying periods of time, including NETHACK WHICH MADE ME LOSE ALMOST AN ENTIRE YEAR OF MY LIFE? Yeah well, welcome to his latest attempt to ruin me.
Minecraft is a game where you build shit out of bricks. That is pretty much its purest form. When i discovered that the bricks didn’t fall down i went about making a FLOATING ISLAND IN THE SKY:
COMPLETE WITH UNDERGROUND SWIMMING POOL:
AND BUILT IN GAGS:
The island alone is estimated at about 5,000 cubes. The castle at 1500. Each cube was a click of the mouse to place, and half a second holding left click to mine from somewhere else, barring the 1000 dirt blocks donated to me by the newtown mine project. I spent far too much of my life on this (almost the entirety of three days) and now i hope i don’t think of another project or it may be the end of me.
Seriously, dammit matthew.
I play on the same server as matthew, address *SNIP because they have griefer problems and dont want their server given out* if you want to drop in to check out my doom fortress or just want to try minecraft for yourself in non-boring mode (which sometimes is called “multiplayer”).
Comic should update at midnight. If it doesn’t i’ll sort it out in the morning. Night chaps!
Now, i’m not normally one for teasing. But theres some new comics coming up that will make you shit your pants. True story.
In other, unrelated news, this is possibly the greatest game ever created
Last of all matthew died. Thats why he hasn’t blogged in a while. I forgot to tell everybody lol.
I have something AGAINST mentioning inactivity in your blog. Its a form of meta-discussion, or meta-monologue rather, that offers no actual new content for the reader to consume. However theres been an inexcusible lack of doing shit on my site for quite some time, and i place the blame all squarely on matthew, for not fixing the comics, and being a non-gamer.
Now, suddenly, he’s rediscovered all the games we once shared many a laugh and a frag over, and he’s decided to rent out a very-expensive-a-month tier-3 datacenter to host the site, and various game servers on. Because before the site was quite dysfunctional and inactive i figured i’d let bygones be bygones and do absolutely nothing, and relax for a little while. Take a hiatus, if you will, even if i didn’t declare it. Its not like my site gets read by anybody other than coleman anyway, and coleman isn’t the type to bitch about that sort of thing. Its not his style. Potentially because he is not, in fact, a bitch.
Haha. Yes of course i’m kidding.
But now i’m back and i’m in crunch mode, having just completed another assignment in record speed: from 9:30 to 4:30 in a SINGLE DAY, seven hours total including all breaks, I coded the entire thing and created comprehensive unit tests for every method.
Pity it was TWO DAYS AFTER IT WAS DUE.
The upshot of this crunch mode means a few things. Firstly i’m making comics, clans, and contraptions. Secondly matthew is buying a new DOMAIN NAME for us, which is very exciting, another sign he suddenly cares about the site again however long that may last. I for one am grateful, and will soon settle back into my midnight-at-friday comic update schedule. We will see the epic non-conclusion to the orange-haired mans magical journey, with a fitting, non-literal “to be continued?” attached, much like this very websites existence.
If you caught that, you are indeed my target audience. Mwah.
In this day and age, legs have fallen into disuse. While we may occasionally venture to the kitchen, the toilet, or the bus stop with them, they generally see very little use in our modern lives. Feet belong on the floor, while hands are the primary manipulators of things and stuff, and the like.
I just did a shoutcast with a curious hosting setup that leaves my “talk” button on a different computer. The ramifications of this being that i am unable to WASD + mouse, while also reaching over to another computer to push my talk button.
Or so I thought.
After pondering this conundrum for some time, I came across a startling innovation that had been under my nose the whole time. Feet are the answer! Somewhere along the way we forgot that toes are tarsi too! I employed, with great success, my feet to push the control button whenever i wanted to talk. I just gave them this small job to start with, because I wasn’t quite sure how they would handle it, but having seen the finesse with which they handled their control-pushing, I am planning to give my feet much more work in the future. Today, they push control. Tomorrow, they play team fortress 2 alongside my hands, allowing my clan to finally realise their dream of having two shadys on their team, operating as one.
A leading expert described the event as “Quite a feat”.
I got addicted to hon, although not by the same magnitude as i was addicted to nethack. Perhaps thats because nethack taught me some lessons that i am now applying. Regardless, i just lost two weeks of my life to it. I somehow managed to fit 130 games into that time.
Also i’ve been playing alongside a troll, whom i am on the good side of because i’m good at team fortress 2. Go figure. A bit of him has rubbed off on me. Yes, me, normally so slow to start a fight, and so quick to end one, if by unorthodox means. He’s gotten me into a few bad habits. For starters now whenever we get a kill we spam “RAPED IDIOT” in allchat. Also we have a lot of binds that…well…i’ll let you see for yourself.
1: Prepare to EAT those words
2: Along with this slice of HUMBLE PIE
3: Straight from the oven of SHAME
4: YOU CANNOT IGNORE MY GIRTH
5: RAPED IDIOT
6: Serious business
7: How about a spot of rape, wot wot?
8: It seems you underestimated my girth
9: Diagnosis: GIRTH
10: Some are born with girth. Others achieve girth. Others still, have girth thrust upon them.
In retrospect, my douchebaggery knows no bounds in the presence of hon players. But that is simply because they’re so adorably serious that you can’t help but tease them. Team fortress 2 players, they have balls. Counter strike players will just douchebag you back. But hon players? They’re just…..SQUISHY.
WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?! *sobs*
There must be some cure for my addictability, which i am almost certain is not a word but regardless i am entitled to use it as such because there is nothing else that suits the purpose as well, and i was never one for nitpicking about what you can and can not attach particular suffixes to.
Its funny because I’m skinny
Counter strike. Oh, what have we become.
Just mere weeks after publicly denouncing counter strike, i’ve become a devotee of a mod called “gungame”. So yeah, i guess you could technically say i “play counter strike”, but ONLY ON A TECHNICALITY, DAMMIT. Gungame has fixed most of counter strikes problems, because its now instant respawn, and its on the ICANNT.org server which is full of mic spam and average joes who can’t aim that well, so i guess it aint that bad after all! Anyway, its gotten a few hours from me over the last few days, and will probably consume a few more in the days to come.
So, we’ve got a game engine. It doesn’t really do much at the moment, but we’re planning to change that over the next few months. I’ve got an exam on the 12th for programming, and then i’ve got one and a half months of….pretty much nothing! So during that period of nothing, i’m going to be undertaking Operation: Don’t Waste Your Life. The long and short of this is maximum constructive stuff and minimum gaming. And by the end of it i’m hoping to have completed enough interesting projects that i can put em on a resumé and go “Hire me, bitches!” to some brisbane game studio.
But anyway, as sleep deprived posting has always proven to be a joy in the past I decided to once more grace you some sleep deprived ramblings.
Signed up for a cafépress account, no idea why. I’m hoping one day i’ll be able to sell t-shirts and mugs with my my alter ego and my oft-dismembered id side by side exchanging wit, but at the moment the actual REASON for the signup slips my mind, because now i’ve got to put up with several angry elephant-loads worth of spam. Fortunately, this is not the combustible variety, but that is little comfort to the excitable voice inside my head that pipes up when i recieve an email, who has been repeatedly disappointed by mistaking the communiqués that inform me of cafépress special offers for my regular email fare: missives that often contain several gallons of rainbows and/or sunshine, upon which the voice happily feeds.
I have this strange feeling that the sentence i just completed is not, in fact, coherent. However I refuse to look back, for attempting to fix it is a greater task than getting up and going to bed. When such a task presents itself, going to bed is exactly what i will do.
And so it continues. I’ve been meaning to stab matthew for quite some time lately, for constantly putting off his to-do list. He is so determined to ignore the work i have for him, that he actually set up a content management system that i could submit requests to, so that he could streamline the process by which he ignored them. He then forgot the link to this system, which I guess says something about how often he looked at it. He had gotten me sending requests to a machine instead of bugging him over msn: his masterwork was complete. Now he had but to wait.
Speak of the devil, matthew just sent me something funny over msn:
(12:00:57 AM) Sizemon: more like, dildo FAGGINS
I’m sorry you had to see that. I really am.
Anyway, i think i’ve filled my neurotic raving quota for the time being, so i will leave you with this amusing image:
Now, apparently i’ve gotten a few (one) people addicted to nethack with my previous blog post about it, and after hearing from my colleague matthew that i am no longer addicted to it, they want me to write a guide on how to quit. So, here’s to you buddy.
Option 1: Conventional quit
The conventional quit is very difficult, almost impossible, unless you have some immediate alternative. The most important thing about your alternate gaming options is they have to both be awesome and easy to pick up. A game of total annihilation may be awesome, but easy to pick up it is not. No, what you’re looking for is a deadly combination of Peggle, for those times when you need something to pick up quickly, and a high-quality multiplayer shooter (Team fortress 2 *cough*) or MMO for when you intend to play for a while. And for the love of GOD, delete your desktop icon, yeah?
Option 2: Rage quit.
This is the one that managed to get me off the game for a good few months. I had gotten a wish from a djinni early in the game, and wished for a +2 blessed greased gray dragon scale mail. Ever since then i had been doing awesomely, at that point in time it was in fact the farthest i had ever gotten in a game of nethack. And then…then i met a werewolf.
It was just another monster. I stabbed it, and then it died. But in my haste to kick its ass, i didn’t notice the little “You feel feverish” message that is given when you contract lycanthropy (the were-disease). Then, on the next floor down, i morph into a werewolf and my gray dragon scale mail breaks. GAH. Then i pray to cure my lycanthropy and my god gets pissed and level drops me. I don’t remember exactly how the rest of it went, but i died pretty shortly after that, and it was a rage-quit the likes of which had never been seen before by mortal men. I rage-quit so hard you could see it from SPACE. If you plan to rage quit, get really really far, and then screw it up in the most irritating way imaginable. It worked for me.
Now i’m pretty sure you’re going to hate me for saying this, but this was the only permanent solution for me. Its not as hard as you think. Get reflection, and magic resistance, and all the intrinsics. Remember to engrave Elbereth when in trouble, and think before each move. Play with nethack.wikia.com open behind it, and go for victory. You’ll become part of an elite minority, the proud few who’ve finished nethack. What one can do, another can do. It might just cost you a significant portion of your life, is all.
I randomly decided to do something strange last night. I decided to try my hand at Garrys Mod ragdoll posing. The results of this first effort are already available. I’ve named the comic “The Intermission” as it really is just that: an intermission between the regularly scheduled Confabulation comic series.
I should probably note that the comic intentionally has absolutely no story and really makes no sense at all. It’s more or less dipping my toes into the world of creating a Garrys Mod scene. Future comics I make will naturally make a lot more sense and probably have some sort of plot.
And on that note, James and I are now pretty much done with university for the year, so we’re celebrating with a nice, easy game of OpenTTD.
PLAYTESTING. THATS RIGHT.
I signed a nondisclosure agreement, so I can’t divulge any specific details about what i was actually testing, but i’ll say a few things about the overall experience.
After entering halfbrick studios, the second time i’ve entered a game studio, I was ushered into a small room with two people who I knew HAD to be QA staff, seeing as they were running a playtest. That said, these two men struck me immediately as programmers, the likes of which I believe I have been granted extra-sensory ability to detect by being a programmer myself. Anyway, i’m getting sidetracked.
Going into this, I had set out to give them as much accurate, helpful and constructive criticism I could. While the entire thing was made up of coloured boxes, and the same person was used as placeholder art for pretty much every single object, it was as enjoyable as can be expected for the tutorial level of a handheld game. I think I managed to help them iron out quite a few visual feedback issues with the state of the world, not to mention a lot of gameplay suggestions which i’m almost tempted to buy the final game just to find out if they included them. The reason i say “almost” is i don’t actually own a DS, so the game would be worthless to me, and the day i buy a handheld is the day i lose the ability to daydream on public transport.
…where was I? Oh right.
What’s more they were taking all these notes while i wasn’t even doing anything interesting, which I guess is why they have a job and i don’t. That said, I haven’t applied for any game studios yet, and after that playtest I think halfbrick will be one of my best options. I almost wet myself when i think about the possibility of being finished with all this education bullshit. All I want to do is program and get paid for it :\
Or i could NOT program, and get paid for THAT! That would be even better.
….I’ll get back to you.