Seeing as matthew has a crippling inability to set up cron jobs, i’m officially changing our comic update schedule to “Whenever matthew decides to release one”.

I will be MAKING a comic once a week, regardless. This may mean that there will be droughts of comics occasionally, followed immediately thereafter by an explosion comics and a post of rage on the blog. But i just decided that i didn’t want to be one of THOSE comics that says they’ll update at times x y and z and doesn’t. So yeah.

hi.

The comics are back in action kiddos! After a series of trips elsewhere by james, and a lot of having a life by Matthew (THAT BASTARD) we are a webcomic once more. I’m sure you’ll enjoy our latest offering, and trust me when i say that the sequel will be greater still.

I just got back from a trip to the great ocean road, along the southern coast of victoria. It was awesome, for the most part. The part where we had some kind of Uber-chef in our party made campfire meals fun. That was awesome. I also saw the twelve apostles, of which there are only seven, something that puzzled me to no end. That was pretty awesome too. The less awesome parts included:
1. Walking 10 kilometers in the sun.
2. Discovering that after i’d done that, i had to walk another 5 kilometers in the sun
3. Getting attacked by countless flies during the final five kilometers (I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING, I KILLED FOUR IN A SINGLE BLOW, THERE WERE SO MANY. FINAL FLY DEATH TOLL: 57)
4. Showering in a shower that only had two settings, being “Scalding hot” and “Ball-shatteringly cold” whilst sporting some intense sunburn.
5. The nights being so cold that i had to wear all my spare pants around my ankles while i slept to keep my toes warm

I have mixed emotions about the trip, but overall i’m glad i went. I guess its an experience.

Lastly, because of matthews busy schedule, i may be taking up more of the webmastery in the future, meaning things may actually get done!

If anybody has seen my webmaster, Matthew Iselin, please contact him and tell him to fix my comic management system or i’ll use my psychic mind powers to set his balls on fire.

True story.

In other news, the comic might not be up for a while, for reasons i’m certain you understand.

So anyway, about four days ago I headed up the coast for a beachy sort of holiday with all my mates! At current we’ve only been to the beach ONCE but i’m completely fine with that, seeing as they have a habit of taking all my personal belongings and moving somewhere far far away whenever i go for a swim, leaving me and the other person stuck in my position, josh, to find them over the course of the next hour of wandering around the seaside.

So here i am, up the sunny coast, and after having spent the afternoon with my mates and becoming unfathomably wrinkled in the spa bath outside (which was a toasty 32 degrees), i have returned to the comfort of a bed, and some interwebs.
Right now i am accompanied by a particularly chilled-out frog, that turned up on my windowsill – my SECOND STORY windowsill – approximately an hour ago, and has simply sat and…CHILLED

It is alive, for it breathes, and it moved from “sitting” to “crouching” at one point, if there is such a distinction for frogs, and yet it has not moved at all
I have a few people on webcam at current, and i periodically declare to them, THE FROG CONTINUES TO CHILL and then provide them with a good 10 seconds of the webcam staring down the frog who, unperturbed, continues to chill. I think i’ve found a new role model.

Also, whilst i was without the means to blog, i wrote some prose describing the most retarded game of cheat ever to come to pass. Enjoy. Or don’t. I don’t care.

Actually that was a lie.

I have just been a part of the most retarded round of cheat that has ever come to pass. Going into the round, my dubious friend Aaron Coleman cut a deal with Josh, an even-more dubious character who recently resembled a sheep, and now in our eyes resembles a shaved one. This deal was that josh would go immediately after coleman cheated, meaning that it would be impossible for anybody to call cheat on him. The opening move: two fours. Coleman deliberates for a bit, and declares “Three sixes”, whilst putting down his entire hand of fifteen cards.

“Two fours!”, Josh immediately slammed down his offering, and Coleman broke into hysterics at the fact he had just pulled off a single-turn victory. And then there was a sinking in joshes face that said, “Coleman, you fagtard.”

“You do realise that three sixes is not adjacent to two fours, right?”

The entire table cracks up into a round of ‘YOU FAIL’s as josh peels his fours off the top of the pile and coleman takes ownership of the remainder of the cards.

“Your turn josh”

“One ace.”

“CHEAT!” i declare. While this may seem retarded as the first single card to be put down in a round, the reader should note that i had not in fact been dealt in. Essentially, i had just been brought into the game, one card from victory, by taking that ace.

It was joshes turn first.
“Two twos!” (Later revealed to be a three and a four)

“ONE ACE! I WIN! Ahahahahaha”

I guess the name of the game *IS* cheat.

Now that I’ve moved to a new city, minus a static IP, I decided to stop hosting WikiForAll on a computer sitting at my feet and instead move it to a proper VPS somewhere in the USA. This hopefully means a faster site, more reliable site, and better speeds for everyone! Yay!

There’s still a lot to get done, and I’m working full-time now, so it’s taking time. But hey, it’ll get there!

-Matt

Well, looks like the wiki’s going down because of my derelict anti-social webmaster, who has decided to just screw it and make his hermit life official by moving to rockhampton. If you don’t know where that is, theres a very good reason for that. I am going to take this opportunity to sit on my ass and accomplish even LESS than I normally find myself doing.

Lastly, I think the short notice just explained itself, don’t you think?

In this day and age, legs have fallen into disuse. While we may occasionally venture to the kitchen, the toilet, or the bus stop with them, they generally see very little use in our modern lives. Feet belong on the floor, while hands are the primary manipulators of things and stuff, and the like.

NO MORE!

I just did a shoutcast with a curious hosting setup that leaves my “talk” button on a different computer. The ramifications of this being that i am unable to WASD + mouse, while also reaching over to another computer to push my talk button.

Or so I thought.

After pondering this conundrum for some time, I came across a startling innovation that had been under my nose the whole time. Feet are the answer! Somewhere along the way we forgot that toes are tarsi too! I employed, with great success, my feet to push the control button whenever i wanted to talk. I just gave them this small job to start with, because I wasn’t quite sure how they would handle it, but having seen the finesse with which they handled their control-pushing, I am planning to give my feet much more work in the future. Today, they push control. Tomorrow, they play team fortress 2 alongside my hands, allowing my clan to finally realise their dream of having two shadys on their team, operating as one.

A leading expert described the event as “Quite a feat”.

Oh NOES!

So yes, I have already valiantly withstood some preliminary Christmas festivities, and also thoroughly enjoyed some others that were thrown by my friends. For one, I was told to bring a present. So, the day of the party (In my defence, I thought it was the day before. I didn’t know it was the day of the party until my good friend Aaron Coleman arrived on my doorstep that night and said get in the car) I went to the shopping center at midday and decided that I would wander these halls of the damned until such a time as I had found a suitable present for one of my lovable friends. Along the way, I ran into a certain LAN buddy of mine, Nathan “Only1Stoodley” Stoodley, who was recovering from a hangover and had come to the battlefield for a triple shot of coffee from gloria jeans. With nothing better to do, he accompanied me through various nick-nack shops while I searched in vain for a gift. Until finally, in the midst of the wigs and eyepatches aisle I had an epiphany.

“STUFFED TOYS ARE THE ANSWER!”
“Thats an idea”
“WHERE WOULD WE GET ONE?”
“…a stuffed toy store?”
“DO THEY HAVE THOSE?”
“I’m not sure. We could try, I guess.”
“OK.”
“Or we could try Toys ‘R’ Us”
“GOOD IDEA”
“Could you stop talking in allcaps, please?”
“NO.”

So, we quested from one end of the centre to the other, and found ourselves in Toys R Us. I selected an adorable oogoochywoogaboogywoodiddleitsapuppydog from the shelves, as well as some play doh, just for lulz. We decided not to proceed to the check-out until we had finished our berry chillers from gloria jeans. This took a good five minutes, but we didn’t mind, seeing as the toy store was surprisingly calm compared to the rest of the mall. While there, I presented an interesting observation.

“Do you think that we’re the LEAST common demographic in this store?”
Stoodley put down a dora the explorer plushie he has been examining with disdain before replying, “You’re probably right. I mean theres lots of mums. Theres lots of kids. Theres the odd bloke getting dragged through the store by his girlfriend. But two 18 year old males?” I decided not to tell him i was still 17, “They probably haven’t seen the likes of us in millenia.”
“And here I am. With a stuffed dog under one arm, and a jar of play doh under the other. I think the stuffed dog thing suits me. It has character. I should carry one around more often.”

I then wore that dog on my head at the bus stop for 15 minutes, before taking it to the party to find a loving home with my good friend Katrina. This christmas battle, my friends, has been won.

Shady out.

I got addicted to hon, although not by the same magnitude as i was addicted to nethack. Perhaps thats because nethack taught me some lessons that i am now applying. Regardless, i just lost two weeks of my life to it. I somehow managed to fit 130 games into that time.

Also i’ve been playing alongside a troll, whom i am on the good side of because i’m good at team fortress 2. Go figure. A bit of him has rubbed off on me. Yes, me, normally so slow to start a fight, and so quick to end one, if by unorthodox means. He’s gotten me into a few bad habits. For starters now whenever we get a kill we spam “RAPED IDIOT” in allchat. Also we have a lot of binds that…well…i’ll let you see for yourself.

SHADYS BINDS:
1: Prepare to EAT those words
2: Along with this slice of HUMBLE PIE
3: Straight from the oven of SHAME
4: YOU CANNOT IGNORE MY GIRTH
5: RAPED IDIOT
6: Serious business
7: How about a spot of rape, wot wot?
8: It seems you underestimated my girth
9: Diagnosis: GIRTH
10: Some are born with girth. Others achieve girth. Others still, have girth thrust upon them.

In retrospect, my douchebaggery knows no bounds in the presence of hon players. But that is simply because they’re so adorably serious that you can’t help but tease them. Team fortress 2 players, they have balls. Counter strike players will just douchebag you back. But hon players? They’re just…..SQUISHY.

WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?! *sobs*
There must be some cure for my addictability, which i am almost certain is not a word but regardless i am entitled to use it as such because there is nothing else that suits the purpose as well, and i was never one for nitpicking about what you can and can not attach particular suffixes to.

Its funny because I’m skinny

What’s THIS then? The blog is the LANDING PAGE? We’ve got a thumbnail for the latest comic? The wiki is proclaiming itself defunct?

Welcome to the new world, fellas. Wikiforall has undergone an overhaul, thanks to our good friend matthew finally getting off his ass and doing his to-do list in admirable speed. However it did take him two months to get around to it so he still loses marks for that.  But thats not relevant, what IS relevant is that theres been a number of changes!

We realised, the wiki may have been what started all this crazy business all that time ago, but it is NOT our main attraction, not even by a long shot, and we were scaring off lots of people by dumping them on a defunct uncyclopedia ripoff, and hitting them with a WALL OF TEXT as soon as they get to the site. Now, however, they will be greeted by a wall of text, in technicolour! And shortly thereafter, they will spy a convenient escape from it: the comic thumbnail. And upon clicking that, our masterwork is complete. Now we’re a few steps away from advertising the site on various project wonderful banners around the interblag. We are cautiously optimistic that interfame will immediately ensue.

And if this is your first time here….welcome aboard. We hope the shenanigans are to your liking.