Oh NOES!
So yes, I have already valiantly withstood some preliminary Christmas festivities, and also thoroughly enjoyed some others that were thrown by my friends. For one, I was told to bring a present. So, the day of the party (In my defence, I thought it was the day before. I didn’t know it was the day of the party until my good friend Aaron Coleman arrived on my doorstep that night and said get in the car) I went to the shopping center at midday and decided that I would wander these halls of the damned until such a time as I had found a suitable present for one of my lovable friends. Along the way, I ran into a certain LAN buddy of mine, Nathan “Only1Stoodley” Stoodley, who was recovering from a hangover and had come to the battlefield for a triple shot of coffee from gloria jeans. With nothing better to do, he accompanied me through various nick-nack shops while I searched in vain for a gift. Until finally, in the midst of the wigs and eyepatches aisle I had an epiphany.
“STUFFED TOYS ARE THE ANSWER!”
“Thats an idea”
“WHERE WOULD WE GET ONE?”
“…a stuffed toy store?”
“DO THEY HAVE THOSE?”
“I’m not sure. We could try, I guess.”
“OK.”
“Or we could try Toys ‘R’ Us”
“GOOD IDEA”
“Could you stop talking in allcaps, please?”
“NO.”
So, we quested from one end of the centre to the other, and found ourselves in Toys R Us. I selected an adorable oogoochywoogaboogywoodiddleitsapuppydog from the shelves, as well as some play doh, just for lulz. We decided not to proceed to the check-out until we had finished our berry chillers from gloria jeans. This took a good five minutes, but we didn’t mind, seeing as the toy store was surprisingly calm compared to the rest of the mall. While there, I presented an interesting observation.
“Do you think that we’re the LEAST common demographic in this store?”
Stoodley put down a dora the explorer plushie he has been examining with disdain before replying, “You’re probably right. I mean theres lots of mums. Theres lots of kids. Theres the odd bloke getting dragged through the store by his girlfriend. But two 18 year old males?” I decided not to tell him i was still 17, “They probably haven’t seen the likes of us in millenia.”
“And here I am. With a stuffed dog under one arm, and a jar of play doh under the other. I think the stuffed dog thing suits me. It has character. I should carry one around more often.”
I then wore that dog on my head at the bus stop for 15 minutes, before taking it to the party to find a loving home with my good friend Katrina. This christmas battle, my friends, has been won.
Shady out.
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